Day 93

One of my teacher has a slight accent. This can be humorous for the rest of us.

Teacher: "Some goods are cheap; others are being expensive. The price of air is for free. But how much is the price of aisle?"

Students: "Um... What?"

Teacher: "Aisle. What do you have to pay to get some aisle?"

Students: "We don't know!"

Teacher: "Aisle costs seventy dollars a barrel!"

Day 92

I recently went to a movie theater that had a very interesting concession stand - snacks were actually priced according to their respective amounts of calories. I asked for popcorn and they charged me two bucks. Then I got a Krispy Kreme donut and it cost me $8.50! I washed those down with a Diet Coke, which was free. Then I got some celery and they gave me thirty-five cents.

Day 91

The reason they limit the Olympics to amateurs...

Day 89

Twofer Tuesday.

Day 88

Day 87

Day 86

This has been a true story.

Day 83

Three periods walk into a bar...

Day 81

Whenever I'm in doubt about what to do, I always defer to a greater authority on the subject at hand. Usually this authority is my father; sometimes it's a friend; and on rare occasion, it's Socrates. But if I'm driving, there's no question about it - this authority is GPS, and GPS is king. I will do whatever that little bastard tells me to do. If GPS says go left, I go left. If it says make a four-lane U-Turn across Queens Bouleveard, hell yes, I'm in. Yesterday it made me ditch my car and ferry my oxen across the Hudson.

It got my estimated arrival time right to the minute.

Day 80

Q: What do yeshiva students have in common with Coca-Cola factory employees?

A: They each spend most of their days bottling!