Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Day 16

I have the worst dentist of all time. Yesterday, right before he was about to start pulling, I said, "Uh, doc... are we forgetting something?" He paused, and then exclaimed, "Oh, right - novocaine!"

This has been a true story.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Day 15 (or, "Farrah and Michael, we hardly knew y'all")

Today, America mourns the passing of two anorexic white women.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Day 13

Recipe

1 cup flour,
2/3 cup sugar,
half dozen eggs,
1 pie crust,
and finally,
1 search engine:

Koogle.com

Day 12

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Day 10

There's a general prohibition in my law school against arguing for better grades... for obvious reasons. Can you imagine if grade-debating was allowed? We're future lawyers, for god's sake! There would be eighty appeals filed each time a teacher gave a test! And the appeals would be specific, too - citations and everything. "See the landmark case of Josh v. Professor Burbles, circa 2005, for the proposition that a ten-word answer can, in fact, constitute a legitimate essay. See also the apple I left on your desk last Tuesday (reversed on other grounds)."

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Day 7

"Able was I ere I saw Alba."

-Cash Warren

Friday, June 19, 2009

Day 6

The first time I was ever called to a dress rehearsal, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Then, a guy showed up who was actually WEARING a dress. But that wasn’t the weird part. The weird part was when he asked me to zip him up.

Apparently the dress was for a dream sequence in the play. I asked the director why the character would wear a dress in his dream sequence, and the director responded, “because, honey, there’s a drag queen in each and every one of us.” I muttered, “I think that guy got two drag queens and I didn’t get any.”

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Monday, June 15, 2009

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Day 1

Today I was on the subway and saw three men sitting next to each other. One was skinny, one was medium-sized, and one was really fat, so I yelled... "Set!"