Day 87

Day 86

This has been a true story.

Day 83

Three periods walk into a bar...

Day 81

Whenever I'm in doubt about what to do, I always defer to a greater authority on the subject at hand. Usually this authority is my father; sometimes it's a friend; and on rare occasion, it's Socrates. But if I'm driving, there's no question about it - this authority is GPS, and GPS is king. I will do whatever that little bastard tells me to do. If GPS says go left, I go left. If it says make a four-lane U-Turn across Queens Bouleveard, hell yes, I'm in. Yesterday it made me ditch my car and ferry my oxen across the Hudson.

It got my estimated arrival time right to the minute.

Day 80

Q: What do yeshiva students have in common with Coca-Cola factory employees?

A: They each spend most of their days bottling!

Day 79

Me: "My editor just gave me comments back on my autobiography."

Aliza: "What did he say?"

Me: "It's too cliche."

Day 78

In high school, I decided to take Japanese for my language elective. I never had a very good grasp over the material. In fact, the teacher gave me a letter grade for my final paper and I still have no idea what I got.