Day 148 (or, "The Many Reasons Why I Will Unfriend You.")

1. If you call somebody "awesome" on facebook, I will unfriend you.

2. If you announce that you have an amazing boyfriend on facebook, I will unfriend you.

3. If you wish your mother happy birthday in your status, and your mother doesn't have facebook, I will unfriend you.

4. If one of your listed "activities" is "learning Torah," I will unfriend you. Keep that shit to yourself.

5. If your profile photo is a picture of your kid, I will unfriend you. You don't belong on facebook.

6. If you announce that you need a hug on facebook, I will unfriend you.

7. If you post a poem that you just wrote about something very personal and emotional to you, and you are a male, I will unfriend you. Also, you might not be a male.

8. If you post an offer from livingsocial.com, and it is later than 3:00 pm, I will unfriend you. (Trust me, we already know.)

9. If you announce that you are sad about the death of a celebrity on facebook, and it is not in a joking or sarcastic way, I will unfriend you.

10. If you so much as mention "Farmville" once ever, I will unfriend you on facebook and in real life.

11. If you post a photo album showing off pictures of your muscles, you might be a redneck. (Also, I will unfriend you.)