Day 71

Today in Philosophy, we learned that the last year of law school is a complete waste of time.

Day 70

"Someone was once mean to me, so I stabbed him with a pencil. In other words... he got the point."

-Alinut

Day 69

I went to my eye doctor the other day for a routine checkup. At the end, I gave him my insurance card. He frowned. I gave him a different insurance card instead. "Better, or worse?"

HAHAHA I AM HILARIOUS

Day 68

Ari: "You should come to the get-together thrown by my theater troupe tonight. Everyone's gonna be there: the main stars, the side characters, even the Untouchables... It's a caste party!"

Me: "I would, but I fell down and broke my arm. So if I came, it would be more like a cast party."

Ari: "Too bad. We're doing a really great show, too - 'Cats' - but the director is dyslexic. So it looks like it's gonna be a 'Cast' party."

THREE JOKES ONE PUNCHLINE OMG.

Day 67

A question on my most recent law school exam:



My answer:

Day 66

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And polio."

-Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Day 65 (or, "Apples to Apples - The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Shabbas?")

Who invented this game and why is it popular? For those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the rules of said game, here's how it works: The judge of the round will put out a green card with an adjective written on it (e.g., "energetic," or, "serious," or, "stupid"). The players will then choose from among their red "noun" cards and submit the one that they feel is most connected to the adjective at play. So, for "stupid," you might put out, "Dane Cook," or, "Jeff Dunham," or, "The Religious Right." (Ironically, there is no card named, "Apples to Apples.")

Now, what usually happens is that, with no noun-adjective connection that is particularly funny, the judge will choose a winner based on the noun that he likes the most, or in other words, whichever one happens to connect to some random memory from his childhood. This universally winds up frustrating for almost all of the players, each of whom thought that their card was "hilarious!" (These are the players that, at the beginning of the game, claim to be "amazing" at Apples to Apples.) The game is an exercise in futility. Its like spending an hour seeing who can roll more threes on a six-sided die. (Which I happen to be quite good at, by the way.)

In summation, Apples to Apples? More like, Apples to... Crapples.

Day 63

Roman Polanski is in a new band! He calls it, "F Minor."